Top 10 Football Jokes

  1. University humor
    What do you say to a University football player dressed in a full three-piece suit? “

”Will the defendant please rise.”
  2. Keeping to the rules of the game
    “The rules of soccer are very simple, basically it is this: if it moves, kick it. If it doesn’t move, kick it until it does.” P.Woosnam. It become a symbolic quote. At the time

    the Premiership teams were full of players that had little formal education, but were extraordinary good players. Somebody had to explain the rules so they could understand. The Welsh manager did it extraordinary well. *football fan

  3. Don’t judge anyone before walking in his shoes

    I wish everyone who loved football could stand in the quarterback’s shoes just for a play, because I think it would be tremendously humbling to anyone who loved the game to say, “I didn’t — I had no idea.”
    – S.Young. One may think what it’s like. One may speculate what it’s like. One can even get a sense of what it’s like given the good perspective today’s cameras are able to give. However, if you haven’t really tried it yourself, it is not the real thing.
    You know, living a modern life has made our feet too sensible**, too gentle and underdeveloped, so it is important to try
  4. Looking like animals, but there ain’t no tigers.. Group of opossums hereHow is this (looser) football team like an opossum?

 They play dead at home and get killed on the road.
  5. After loosing a game“If you eat caviar every day it’s difficult to return to sausages.” A.Wenger refered to Arsenal fans after a draw with Middlesbrough
  6. Always look on the bright side of life
    What do you call a [insert random football team] fan with half a brain? 
    A gifted guy! ***

Oh, did you notice that these are not exactly 10… Well, that’s another crappy football joke, courtesy of FMF 🙂


* Playing Tough: The World of Sports and Politics by Roger Abrams

** Guide to best parkour shoes by FitaholicGear

*** Top 10 Insulting Football Jokes by James Adler – read more here

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